Meaningless

 

 

  

    Some time has gone by, but things are the same

  

  

    My life is still empty, the pain still remains,

  

  

    I haven't stopped crying, I can't make it cease

  

  

    The ache inside is heart wrenching, I can't find peace,

  

  

    I find myself wishing I could have been a better dad

  

  

    I wish I could have done so much more with you then I had,

  

  

    Wishing seems foolish but it's all I have left

  

  

    Suddenly you came to mind and I sat and wept,

  

  

    I know life has ups and downs, and ups again

  

  

    What the hell is the meaning of trying to pretend,

  

  

    That anything could ever be ok

  

  

    Without my son? No way!

  

  

    When u died I lost my spark

  

  

    I try to love life with only half a heart

  

  

    On the 25th it will be 7 months

  

  

    All I can say is I miss you SO much,

  

  

    Drowning in snot and tears of misery

  

  

    Nothing can explain who much you meant to me,

  

  

    I write these poems to try to show

  

  

    The hurt in my heart that continues to grow,

  

  

    The pain and hopelessness I now live with daily

  

  

    If I ended my own life, who could blame me?

  

  

    No one should ever have to bury their child

  

  

    He didn't need dope, he wasn't that wild,

  

  

    He never needed that stuff, and now what have you done?

  

  

    You went an drugged and killed my only son,

  

  

    This is all bullspit now, I have to admit

  

  

    Living life without you is absolutely spit,

  

  

    I would have made sure u grew big and strong

  

  

    I wish you could just come home where you belong,

  

  

    I miss you so much buddy, this sucks

  

  

    Empty soda can heart has been crushed,

  

  

    I hope you understand, these tears aren't bad

  

  

    I know it seems like I'm freaking out, but this is all I have,

  

  

    These salty wet symbols of emotional despair

  

  

    Is how I show that I am still there,

  

  

    My mind is slipping, I wish I could sleep

  

  

    Forever in Gods kingdom, I wouldn't be so weak,

  

  

    I would have you, and you were my pride

  

  

    What I held so very deep inside,

  

  

    I could let it out, yell and shout

  

  

    Let everyone know what this pain is about,

  

  

    It's not fair that you went there

  

  

    All of this is so much more then I can bare,

  

  

    I will try to be strong, at least when people can see

  

  

    I will try to not show the crumbling image of me,

  

  

    I will pretend that I am ok, and not losing it

  

  

    I will put on a good show and try to not admit,

  

  

    That all this I say it true

  

  

    Life just isn't worth living without you..

  

 

 

 

 

-Daddy